5 Ways to Manage Your Guest List
5 Ways to Manage Your Guest List
If you’re struggling to think of all the people who should, could, and might be invited to the wedding, look no further. Here are five ways to manage your guest list.
No. 1 - Categorize Guests
The main groupings you will stick to are His and Her:
Immediate Family; Extended Family; Employment; School; Childhood Friends; Roommates or Family Lived With; Regular Activities (church, clubs, etc); and Random People You Don’t Know How You Know Them But You Do.
99% of people in your life will fall into one of these categories. Once you’ve established these groups, you have your entire guest list.
No. 2 - Establish the Grand Total
When you’ve thought of all the people in your life who you love and/or are expected to invite, count the total. To see if that total is within your budget, you’ll need to know how much per head your catering and/or venue is. Catering almost always goes by headcount and your venue will usually go by sets of 50s or 100s. For example, if your budget for catering is $2,000 and it is $20 per head including tax, you need to whittle that list down to 100. Another example is if your dream venue has a maximum headcount of 75 people, but your guest list is 150, you’ll need to cut the guest list in half.
No. 3 - How to Cut the Guest List
Cutting is no easy task. I recommend doing it in rounds and by category. Ultimately who gets cut is up to you and what you want the vibe of your wedding to be. Do you want it to be a giant party with all your college friends? Or do you want a lovely family-focused affair? Or just a nice well-rounded group that enjoys the celebration of marriage? In the first round go by people you are on the fence about and get second opinions. If you’re going back and forth about it, they can probably be cut. Secondly, go through groupings of family. If you decide not to invite cousins then you really should not invite ANY cousins. It is very impolite to exclude specific family members just because. Go through old family friends, are they still near and dear to the family or has it been a very long time? Lastly, I do want you to consider your family’s feelings when cutting the guest list. Would it mean a lot to your mom to invite her friend she’s known for 30 years? Just invite them. Having healthy and loving relationships with those around you goes a lot farther than the extra $25 per head.
No 4. Be Gracious and Firm
Contrary to what you might think, being gracious but firm does not contradict one another. The key here is to decide exactly what you want, going back to a theme. Do you want a big party with everyone to come and just have a blast? Or do you want a private, luxurious affair? Your guest list will mimic this. If you want a big party then be open about the fact that your attitude is more the merrier. If it’s smaller and headcount is a higher priority you must be upfront about it. Being wishy-washy because you don’t want conflict will only make conflict greater. But if you are open about keeping the guest list small, then the boundaries and expectations are clearer.
No. 5 - Be Honest
Being honest and upfront with your family, particularly your mother and mother in law lol, will be much healthier in the long run because they’ll realize that inviting their long-time friend they just met up with after 5 years will be rather inappropriate. However, if it’s a more the merrier gang then sure, why not invite them? You just need to be honest and realistic with yourself AND your family and friends.
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